There are different schools of thought about whether dating in a small town will be a positive or negative experience. The answer is that it could be both.
One key factor that can shape your dating experience in a small town is your mindset. Dating success is not just about the size of the dating pool but also how you perceive and approach the situation. In other words, your attitude can turn potential drawbacks into opportunities.
That said, before calling the realtor to move to a small town or to move out of the one you are living in currently, you will want to make sure you understand what a small town can offer you (or lack) as someone single and looking for love. As you will discover below, there are benefits and detriments to living on either side of the picket fence.
The dating pool will be smaller.
Though having fewer people to cull from might not seem opportune, it actually can be. First, you will be less inclined to make quick decisions given there are fewer options to choose from. That doesn’t mean settling, but, instead, more carefully assessing whether a person could be worth meeting despite them not filling your wish list exactly.
Second, with a smaller network often comes camaraderie. If a match isn’t right, someone else you know personally may be able to make an introduction. If you’re being neighborly, you should do the same for others.
You will be more able to meet singles organically.
It’s no secret that in today’s dating landscape people rely heavily on dating apps to meet other eligible singles. In a small town, dating apps may play second fiddle to community events or classes where those same singles might be present in real life.
Smaller groups provide wonderful opportunities to get to know people organically. So sign up for that class at the local college, join a walking club, have dinner at popular restaurants in your town, go to the gym, and attend religious services and related events.
People will know your business.
Not many people like a busybody. However, the fact that more people may know your business because you live in a small town can help you in your search. If you are on your community’s radar as someone who’s available to date, you may have more people looking to play matchmaker. After all, most people like a good love story.
Also, because more people will know what you’re up to, they may also know if the person you’re dating is up to no good. As much as people like a Hallmark movie ending, they will also not want to be responsible for putting you or seeing you in a situation where you can get hurt.
Hopefully, if the match you made isn’t the right one for reasons that are not aboveboard, chances are that someone will pick up the phone and let you know, send word to you through the grapevine, or you’ll just overhear it. Gossip, like bad news, travels fast.
You may be forced to expand your geographic search.
If all else fails, or even if it doesn’t but you are finding the dating pool too limited, small-town living may push you to expand your geographic search. This is a good thing. Though you may have to make more of an effort to go on dates, perhaps by splitting the distance, opening your search further can expose you to individuals you wouldn’t ordinarily meet.
A longer distance should also inspire you to get to know people better before setting up a date far away, given the time and cost involved. Long-distance relationships can have their upsides, including a slower start that enables you to make informed decisions.
You will have an instant community when you do meet a match.
One of the nicest aspects of living in a small town is the relationships you can build with the people who live there. Whether you meet your match in your small town or you meet someone elsewhere who eventually relocates to be with you, your community can provide a familial feeling to your partner as much as they do for you.
Final thoughts about what it can be like to date in a small town …
Small town, big city, or somewhere in between, there’s no perfect venue for dating. What ultimately will matter is the attitude you bring to dating and to your dates, one where you are willing to see the glass as half full rather than empty.
If you go into dating with a mindset that you will never find anyone, guess what? You won’t. You could be in a room filled with singles, yet it won’t matter, and not because of them but because of you.
So wherever you are, in the smallest of small towns or the largest of large cities, bring a smile, an open mind, and a willingness to expand or limit your search as your environment calls for. Once you see the options, they’re endless.