If you’ve ever gotten to know an animal lover well, you know how passionate they are — and can become — about the furry friends in their lives and even the furry friends who aren’t. They love with all their hearts and share their exuberance with as many people and causes as possible.
Not surprisingly, dating an animal lover (as opposed to a pet owner who loves their pet) may be a different experience from those you’ve had before with either animal “likers” or those who just don’t understand the fuss. If you fall into one of these latter categories, too, but have begun dating an animal lover and want to continue doing so, there are a few things you should probably know about what your experience may look like.
Animals will always be a high priority.
When you date an animal lover, their pets (and maybe others) will take a high priority in their life. With this in mind, you should prepare yourself to consider your partner’s pets when scheduling dates, weekends away, and vacations. Before all else, your animal-loving partner will want to ensure their pet is healthy, safe, and happy at all times, even if that means cutting plans short.
You will probably be engaging in some pet-friendly activities.
Pet-friendly activities will probably be on the calendar, so get ready to go on pet walks, attend events and fundraisers related to pets (pets may even be on the guest list), prepare special pet recipes, talk about pets often, have pets in your bed, and shop at stores devoted exclusively to them. Really, anything about pets will be the order of the day.
Animal lovers will often have strong feelings about animal rights and welfare.
Recognizing that animal lovers often have deeply rooted and strong feelings about animal rights and welfare will help you understand better what makes your partner tick. This appreciation can foster a deeper connection and engender respect in your relationship. By doing your own research about pets and participating in pet-related events with your partner, you may find yourself, over time, becoming more empathetic toward their causes of choice, something you never would have thought would happen.
Animal lovers cannot or will not want to rein in their dedication to animal rights and welfare since it's a significant element of their core values. So, if you are considering asking your partner to tone it down, think of it as basically asking them to change who they are. You wouldn’t want someone asking that of you, would you?
Building rapport with your partner’s pets will go a long way.
People who love animals and have pets look at their pets as family members because, to them, they are. Therefore, when you insult, ignore, or minimize a pet’s role in your partner’s life, you are, in effect, insulting their child or best friend. This will do nothing to help you grow closer to your partner. It will likely alienate them from you.
If you are interested in building a genuine relationship with your partner, think about ways to do the same with your partner’s pet. Even if you have never been an animal lover before, even if you have never had your own pet, it’s not too late to earn the love and respect of the animal in your partner’s life — and now yours.
Pets can sense who likes them and who doesn’t, and they can sense who’s making an effort. Similar to people, pets won’t automatically trust you at first. You must earn that trust, just as you must with your human partner.
Before making these attempts, ask yourself whether your feelings for your partner warrant these efforts. If they don’t, then consider finding someone who doesn’t prioritize animals in their lives. Those people exist, too.
You should feel comfortable sharing your feelings and enforcing your boundaries around pets.
Relationships involve two people, so even if your partner is vehement about their pets and other animals, your feelings, health, and well-being shouldn’t have to take a backseat to theirs or their pets’. So, if there are times when you feel uncomfortable around your partner's pet, would prefer to do an alternative activity that doesn’t involve their pet or other animals, or have allergies due to their pet that need attention, speak up.
If you are demonstrating you are trying to learn more about their life and integrate yourself into it, an animal lover who is interested in a relationship with you should be willing to work with you to meet your needs in the relationship as well. If they reveal they are unwilling to make any concessions, barring putting their pet in jeopardy, it may signal to you that this isn’t the right person for you and that maybe another partner, even another animal lover, might be more compatible.
Final thoughts …
Dating an animal lover can be a wonderfully eye-opening experience. It can indicate that you will like a life with animals in it or, alternatively, that you will be much happier in an animal-free environment. There’s no shame in either.
Where problems arise, whether you’re talking about a love for animals or any other core value, is when you or your partner aren’t being true to yourselves. Like our furry companions, we have the instinct to know when this is happening. The question thus becomes whether we will have the courage to move on and continue searching for the life we want and who we want in it.