As if it hasn’t been bad enough to receive unsavory comments and requests while using online dating apps or worrying about someone else’s hurt feelings after you politely (or even not so politely) reject them, there’s a new trend making the dating landscape even more of a minefield: revenge reporting.
Not only do you now have to worry about avoiding creeps and making sure creeps don’t keep trying to interact with you, but these days, you also have to worry that they’ll take their anger out on you by reporting you to the dating app for something you didn’t do and getting banned from the app without further inquiry. Being reinstated often proves difficult.
According to a 2023 news report by NBC, the effects of revenge reporting are often far-reaching, given how one company can own multiple platforms. For example, Match Group, Inc. owns Match, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and Hinge, among others. As a result, being blocked from using online dating apps can have serious repercussions for blocked users’ mental health, not only leaving them isolated and lonely but also having to deal with the feelings that come from having to assume the burden of proving they didn’t do anything wrong. So, what can you do to address revenge reporting if you are the victim of it? Read on.
Contact customer support on the dating app(s) where you’ve been blocked.
If you believe you’ve been the victim of revenge reporting, it’s important to contact customer support on the dating app or apps where you’ve been blocked as soon as possible. Although many people who’ve been victims of revenge reporting have been frustrated with the response or lack thereof from the dating app in question, it’s crucial to begin a digital trail of your complaint. It may take numerous attempts to elicit a response.
Refrain from doing anything that could make you look bad to the dating app’s customer support.
Even though you’re probably angry, and justifiably so, two wrongs won’t make a right. With this in mind, don’t do anything that could reflect poorly on you to the dating apps, such as finding a way to revenge report the person who reported you from another account or a friend’s account. If someone is angry or unstable enough to hurt you like this, the best thing you can do is to stay out of their way.
If the person who blocked you reaches out to you personally, gauge the situation for safety and then decide if it makes sense to request that they reverse the block. Be polite. Do not incite them further if you do choose to talk to them. That said, you are always free to …
Contact law enforcement if you feel unsafe.
If revenge reporting is only the tip of the iceberg, and the person who took this action against you has done anything else to make you feel unsafe, such as harassing or cyberstalking you or has violated you in some way, contact law enforcement. Not only do you want to take action to protect yourself, but you also want to do your part in letting the authorities know this person could pose a threat to others due to their mental state.
Set up a Google Voice account.
When dating, it’s of paramount importance to prioritize your safety. This begins with online dating. Phone numbers, including mobile ones, are easily traced, potentially leading to a gold mine of information for even the least skilled amateur sleuth. When you set up your account, consider using a Google Voice number to limit trackability. If you’ve already been revenge blocked, a Google Voice number may act as a workaround, allowing you to set up another account with a new number.
Seek support from a mental health professional.
At a minimum, it can be off-putting to be falsely accused of negative behavior and not have the powers that be believe you or do anything to rectify the situation. Beyond that, as stated above, being a victim of revenge blocking can cause anxiety, depression, and other feelings that may be challenging to work through on your own. A mental health professional may be able to help, including if you’re feeling isolated and alone due to the actions of others.
Meet matches out in the real world, off of the apps.
Though it may not feel like it, dating apps are only one of many ways to meet singles. Yes, dating apps are effective, but dating apps are only one piece of the puzzle. There are social events in your town or city that are looking for members like you to join their groups. For example, if you like to play pickleball, which has become popular in recent years, inquire about court time and getting matched with a partner. Or go with a friend and see who you meet on the court or while drinking a smoothie afterward.
Explore your favorite hobby by signing up for a class or joining a Meetup group. Donate your time to your favorite cause and explore the singles groups where you worship. Also, let your network know you are single and looking; people love playing matchmaking. Speaking of which, you can hire a real-life professional matchmaker who can help you brush up on your dating skills and match you up with eligible singles from their “little black book” of best-kept secrets, who may not be on the apps.
The point is that dating apps are one tool for meeting singles, not the only tool. So, although you’re having a negative experience with an unsavory individual, in truth, they only have the power you give them. Meaning, the only one who can hold you back from meeting someone is you.