When Hodel first sang the words, “Matchmaker, Matchmaker/Make me a match” in the iconic Broadway show, “Fiddler on the Roof,” no audience member could’ve ever envisioned her singing “Matchmaker, Matchmaker/Make me a Match.com.”
Yet, if a 50ish-year-old Hodel was sitting at a bar in New York City’s Meatpacking District or on L.A.’s Sunset Boulevard sipping her Cosmopolitan, she might ever so wistfully be humming that tune. That’s because she believes swipe apps and online dating sites have become her only option for finding love.
Thankfully, she’d be wrong.
Matchmakers are alive and well these days and more relevant than ever. How do I know? Because I’m a modern-day matchmaker, who’s successfully helped hundreds of women and men find their perfect matches for close to three decades.
Still, you may be wondering: Why would anyone need a matchmaker when there’s online dating?
Not only does matchmaking still have a place, but today, the need is stronger than ever. By combining the vast resources of online dating with the expertise and personalization that only an experienced matchmaker like myself can offer, I provide a unique, comprehensive matchmaking service to find you a match who’s right for you.
Here’s what I do.
Clarify your goals.
Are you sure you know what you’re looking for?
Consider, for a moment, a 55-year-old man with grown children. He wants a partner he can travel with, but he’s only been searching for 35-year-old women who haven’t been married and want kids. It would almost be stating the obvious to claim that he would likely not find success with these types of women because they have clearly different goals. Yet that’s who he continues to date, unsuccessfully.
Such clarity only comes from the objectivity of being a third party and the wisdom that develops after years of seeing what works and what doesn’t. The best recipe for success is clarifying your goals so that when you go into the dating world, you know in a general sense who you’re looking for and what lifestyle will work with your own.
In the case of the 55-year-old man, I would suggest a woman of similar age with grown children or a woman who’s not looking to have any. Next, she must have an explorative side. Of course, checking these two boxes doesn’t guarantee a romance. But what it does is increase the likelihood of a spark, one you need to give a chance to ignite, something a talented modern-day matchmaker like myself knows, but modern-day daters too often forget.
Narrow the dating pool.
The best part about online dating is that there are so many more people to choose from, which, of course, is also the worst part about online dating. Are you suffering from dating burnout? Does everyone’s dating profile look the same? If they do, you need a fresh perspective.
An experienced, skilled matchmaker can take an Olympic-sized dating pool and make it smaller. I like to cut out swiping apps like Bumble, Tinder, and The League from the get-go: they offer little to no information on matches. Instead, I stick to more traditional dating sites that provide more extensive profiles.
After that, I handpick your matches, break your subconscious dating patterns, and deliver to you a group of individuals you would not otherwise have considered but who share in your long-term goals.
Become your mouthpiece (at least for the moment).
I manage many of my clients’ online dating accounts for them. That entails anything from editing or writing from scratch a new profile, regularly examining and updating their profiles, and, if they choose, writing and responding to emails sent through the dating sites on their behalf.
This last service is a timesaver for my clients. They don’t have to interact with strangers so much at the outset. More importantly, I shield them from those people they shouldn’t deal with at all. Let me explain.
Screen.
Do you know how to date safely? So many clients have come to me over the years complaining that the people they’ve been meeting online haven’t always been honest with them. The lies they report run the gamut. From lying about height, weight, what they do for a living (including if they’re currently unemployed), whether or not they have a cat, dog, even kids, to their marital status (tsk, tsk, married folks), I have heard it all. Which means I have developed an uncanny ability to sift through bullshit fast.
If you’re new to dating or generally a trusting person because you wouldn’t think of lying about these relevant pieces of information yourself, you may not be so quick to pick up on the red flags. An experienced and skilled matchmaker can. I do.
Save you time.
Looking for love can become a second or third job. People are busy and don’t have or want to use the precious few spare moments they have reading profiles. If I’m talking about you, utilizing the resources only an experienced matchmaker can offer may be the right move. A matchmaker helps you date smart.
By sifting through the hordes of online profiles on your behalf, I leave you with only viable matches to consider. And, of course, more free time.
Train you.
Do you know how to date? Yes, that takes some practice, too, and if you’ve been having trouble getting past a first, second, or however many dates, it may be something you’re doing, saying, or not saying on a date.
If that’s been your experience, guess who you get to go out on a date with first? Me! Yep, if need be, I set up a mock date or dates with my clients. It’s not enough to counsel my clients about how they should speak or behave on a date. I want to see you in action—in a restaurant, on a hike, even at the mall. I know how great you are, but are you communicating that to your date?
Surprise you.
Dating is a time of self-discovery, and over time, your goals may change. It’s your matchmaker’s job to help you achieve your goals once you understand what they are, and from there, bring you interesting people who share in some of those goals.
Your matches may be people you wouldn’t ordinarily have given a second thought. But I encourage you to give them a chance. To find love, you must first be open to it. And sometimes that begins with being open to a helping hand like me to get you there.