If you haven’t been tuning into “The Golden Bachelor,” the latest installment of the well-known television series, “The Bachelor,” you’ve been missing something. And that is 22 female contestants vying for the heart of one man.
Sound familiar? It is, except there’s a twist. He’s not bringing a woman home to meet Mom. He’s bringing her home to meet his two adult daughters.
That’s because the man of the hour is, let’s just say, a mature man. Gerry Turner is a 72-year-old retired restaurateur and widower from Hudson, Indiana, who’s already done a whole lot of living.
But he’s not ready to be put out to pasture just yet. Nope. Not a chance. The hills are alive with the sound of women between the ages of 60 and 75 who could show their daughters (and granddaughters) a thing or two.
Though “The Golden Bachelor” is scheduled to wrap on November 30, 2023, and we will all know by then who Gerry has chosen, it really doesn’t matter. Why? Because everyone who participated, everyone who put themselves out there to find love, including Gerry, is a winner. Here’s why.
They embrace change.
Dating after 60 comes with change: change in societal norms, technology, and personal circumstances. Embracing these changes and adapting to new ways of connecting with potential partners — online dating, matchmaking, a TV series! — is crucial to dating success today, and this 60-plus crowd has demonstrated they’re up for the challenge.
So, for all but one of them, it won’t be Gerry. Oh well. They’ve shown it could be someone else.
They prioritize compatibility.
With age often comes a clearer understanding of personal values, interests, and priorities. Singles 60 and over know to focus more heavily on compatibility with potential partners to build more meaningful and lasting connections.
This is not to say that attraction and physical compatibility aren’t important. It is including after 60. But it’s nice to be able to meet for a game of pickleball in the morning and attend an art gallery opening in the evening with someone who enjoys those pastimes, too.
They value communication.
Effective communication is vital in any relationship, and this is particularly true in the context of dating after 60. Open and honest communication helps couples of any age understand each other’s expectations, boundaries, and goals. The over-60 crowd is no exception.
For this demographic, such conversations include those around sexual expectations, which can change as the years progress. Others focus on logistics, including whether marriage has to be the goal due to financial considerations, which tend to be more complicated in later years.
They’re optimistic.
It’s no secret that maintaining a positive outlook on dating and relationships can be empowering, this “older” group of contestants included. Past experiences may have shaped their approach to dating, but by staying optimistic about the possibilities, they enhanced their dating experience.
Many singles dating after 60 either haven’t dated in a while or didn’t date much before meeting their former spouse or both. But the “Golden Bachelor” candidates, and so many other “golden” singles, demonstrate daily that they’re excited to experience what love the second, third, or whatever time around could look like.
They balance independence and partnership.
While independence is valuable, so is recognizing the importance of partnership and shared experiences. Golden singles recognize that striking a balance between independence and connection can only contribute to a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Many singles over 60 have lifelong friends, extended family units, careers spanning decades, and hobbies they participate in often. In other words, they have vibrant, fulfilling lives. But — and it’s a big but — they believe their lives could be even better if they could share certain parts of it with a loving and supportive partner.
They realize they don’t have to give up those aspects of their lives they love, and if someone asks them to, that person is not the right fit for them. Compatibility is about adding, not subtracting, to life’s fullness.
They’re open-minded.
The dating pool is as small or as large as you make it. With so many singles over 60 from diverse backgrounds with differing life experiences, being open-minded and willing to explore connections with people who may not fit preconceived notions can lead to unexpected and enriching relationships.
Without the pressures from family (particularly parents) and community (older people tend to care less about what others think) to fit certain expectations, many singles 60 and over are willing to get out of their comfort zone and date people they wouldn’t have considered earlier in their lifetime. Their open-mindedness expands the dating pool so they can look at dating with a glass-half-full perspective, leading them to new experiences, friends, and potentially love and companionship.
They’re open books.
Building a solid foundation and developing a relationship organically can contribute to its long-term success. So can taking the time to get to know someone — all facets of them.
And that’s what this group of contestants has, even after 60, demonstrated is possible — a willingness to share intimate pieces of their lives and vulnerabilities. What makes them tick, happy, and afraid. Fortunately for Gerry, those fears had nothing to do with looking for love.