Did you get involved in a relationship during Covid? If so, you, like many people, may have bonded over different interests than you would have pre-Covid, such as watching binge-watching Netflix or cooking at home together.
These are wonderful pastimes for sure, but now that you can be out and about and have the freedom to resume activities you may have had to put on the back burner during the pandemic, it’s time to make sure you and your partner are still on the same page.
How do you do that? As always, I have a few suggestions.
Think forward.
Successful relationships progress. Therefore, you need to determine if your current relationship can offer you what you’re looking for, especially since it began when your goals may have been different. For many, Covid relationships were based on a mutual need for companionship during a time when people were isolated and lonely as a result.
So think about your relationship goals today. For example, are you looking for an activity partner or a long-term relationship? Marriage? Marriage and children? If your goals aren’t the same, it’s time to consider your future with this person.
Assess whether your pre-pandemic interests still align with your partner’s.
Pre-pandemic, your love for international travel, theater, dining out, and just being social, may have reigned supreme. However, given how stay-at-home orders put a monkey wrench in those plans, you may not have shared your other passions with your current partner.
Though you still may share the interests you cultivated during the pandemic or those you brought to the forefront of your life as a result of the way the world looked during 2020 and 2021, it doesn’t mean you must abandon everything else you loved before Covid-19 became a consideration. In other words, how you prioritize your passions and interests may not be the same post-pandemic.
If, for example, you’re now looking to go on a four-month trip around the world, you need to consider that your partner may not be, quite literally, ready or willing to get on board with that. If they aren’t, you should take some time to determine what matters to you more — travel or your relationship — and how you can balance your outside interests with your interests in your relationship. Can they be balanced? The only way to know is to ask.
Talk to your partner.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: To have a successful relationship, you need to communicate well and often. To that end, when re-evaluating your Covid-based relationship post-pandemic, explain to your partner what your life was like before and how you’re interested in resuming some parts or all of your former lifestyle.
Explain in detail what that lifestyle looked like and how it could potentially impact your current relationship. Will you be traveling? Do you want to travel solo, with friends, or with them? Will you be traveling often for work? Will you be dining out more frequently? Have friends come to visit or stay over?
Next, ask your partner: Are you still interested in my proposed lifestyle? How do you feel about the environment I am presenting to you? Then listen to what they have to say. They may have their own ideas about what a post-pandemic relationship looks like that may or may not specifically align with your vision. The question that thus remains is: Can you live with what you each propose?
Final thoughts …
Many beautiful relationships (and marriages!) have been born out of the pandemic. Indeed, this is a testament to the human spirit and our innate capacity to give and receive love. But not every relationship is destined for this next step. And that’s OK.
Some relationships are circumstantial; they serve a purpose for a finite time, help you to grow, and bring you one step closer to your next relationship, perhaps your last one. The secret is having the wherewithal to know when you should hold on tight to what you have. Or release it in the hopes of finding what — and who — you’re meant to be with. Someone whose interests match yours and yours theirs, who wants to build a life and lifestyle that includes one other in it. For a relationship to endure, you need both.