Whether you haven’t dated for a long time due to a long-term relationship or marriage, your personal life becoming too hectic, or because you decided to work on yourself, and you finally believe enough time has passed for you to reconsider dating once again, give yourself a hand. You have overcome, successfully I may add, one of the biggest hurdles in finding a match — getting started.
But now that you’re here, you’re probably also wondering: So, how do I get started? In real terms, that is. Good question. Because how you approach dating from the outset can affect drastically your experience and, along with it, your success.
It’s no secret that dating takes up a lot of time and energy. It can also raise all sorts of emotions, some of them negative. Consequently, doing too much and too soon can cause overwhelm, not to mention can lead to dating fatigue.
To prevent this from occurring, there are specific ways you can prepare for your dating journey before making your long-awaited return simply by answering a few questions. So, without further adieu, I pose the following to you.
How does the prospect of dating make you feel?
This is a good question because the answer may very well turn on what you were doing before you decided to return to dating. Maybe you were in a relationship and just broke up and are now wondering if it’s too soon for you to be coming back. Or you think you’re ready, you may even know you’re ready, yet something still doesn’t feel quite right.
It’s at this juncture you need to be honest and ask yourself if you actually want to be dating again as well as if you’re ready to be dating again. Dating can be emotionally taxing, so it’s OK if the answer is still no. Or if the answer is yes, but you acknowledge you may have some fear and trepidation about the prospect, and want to give it a try anyway to see if you can overcome the hesitancy you’re experiencing, that’s OK. If you want to meet someone new, you should. And if you want to work on yourself a little while longer, that’s alright as well.
The point is for you to be honest with yourself about where you are right now and then make a decision you can be comfortable with. But do make this decision without taking into consideration judgment from others about what you should be doing and when. Remember, it’s your life, so live it as you want to.
What steps have you taken to prepare yourself for dating?
Self-improvement and reflection are critical toward getting yourself ready to date again. You can accomplish these goals in a variety of ways. If you just got out of a long-term relationship, for example, ask yourself: What did I learn from my last relationship? This way, you will be less likely to repeat the mistakes you made. In the same vein, if you were out of the dating world because you were working on yourself, ask yourself: What changes have I made?
Introspection and self-awareness can be challenging, but once you recognize any patterns which may have been holding you back or insecurities you may have about yourself, you can work toward becoming a better version of yourself and someone who attracts high-quality matches. And by high-quality, I mean those who you can envision being a part of your life and a partner in your life.
As a corollary to this internal questioning, there are steps you can take to spruce up your physical appearance before you start dating this time around. These steps include cleaning up your diet, hitting the gym, investing in a new wardrobe, getting a haircut, and adopting a new skincare routine. When you present the best version of yourself, it often makes for feeling better and more confident while dating, attracting someone of the same caliber.
The same goes for adopting new interests or re-igniting in old ones. Everyone needs to be creative, to have an outlet through which they can challenge themselves mentally. This, too, will help you radiate and attract others. An added bonus is that your hobbies and activities make great conversation starters.
What are you looking for?
This question is surprisingly difficult for many people to answer, but it’s one that can be critical to your success. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you may struggle to narrow your search to individuals who share the same relationship goals as you, including finding a long-term relationship or future spouse. Once you understand what and who you’re looking for, you can be proactive in your search and move on from dead-end relationships.
To that end, be cognizant of any potential deal breakers and red flags. If you don’t hit things off with your date, remember, you don’t need to continue seeing them. Make sure that you really like the person that you’re seeing and investing your time and energy in, and that they really like you, too.
How do you plan to find dates?
Of course, dating apps, bars, and singles events come to mind first. Although, these answers do lead to other questions, such as which dating apps to use, which restaurants and bars to adopt as your new watering holes, and which activities will best serve your objectives. After all, you can’t be everywhere.
Having a wingwoman or professional dating coach to guide you you can be extremely helpful. This way, you can direct your limited time in the most constructive ways possible, while still enjoying yourself. Speaking of which …
Are you ready to have fun?
Dating should be fun, not a chore. To keep it this way, take dating slow. Date with intention, the first intention of which should be to enjoy yourself. I can help. Contact me today.