Maintaining a happy and healthy long-distance relationship can feel like an arduous task, if not an impossible one. The physical distance, lack of regular face-to-face interaction, and limited opportunities for shared in-person experiences can test anyone’s patience.
That said, couples can bridge the gap with the right approach and a positive attitude. If you are currently in a long-distance relationship or considering entering one, here are 10 ingredients for making yours happy and healthy.
1. Adopt an open, honest, and direct communication style.
Communication serves as the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. But this is especially true when you are involved in a long-distance relationship. To keep your connection strong, you need to pay particularly close attention to each other’s needs, desires, and concerns since you are not physically together as often as you typically would be.
Doing so requires a commitment to communicating openly, honestly, and directly and becoming an intent listener. Each of these communication styles is necessary. Once you have a working knowledge of how to engage with your partner in a long-distance relationship, you will both have a safe space to be vulnerable, which will, in turn, promote intimacy and bring you closer together.
2. Communicate regularly.
Establish a communication routine that works for you and your partner. You can accomplish this with a combination of daily phone calls and video chats and by sending photos, memes, reels, texts, and voice messages throughout the day.
If you are living in different time zones, this level of attention to communication can take some getting used to. But with a bit of creativity, you can find ways to stay in contact regularly.
3. Trust and be transparent.
Like communication, trust is integral to a successful relationship, and it becomes even more crucial in a long-distance relationship. Building and maintaining trust requires you and your partner to be reliable, transparent, and reassuring.
To that end, stay open and transparent with each other about your lives, daily experiences, and challenges. Share your thoughts, aspirations, and even your fears. However …
4. Get a handle on jealousy.
Jealousy can quickly arise in a long-distance relationship due to the lack of physical proximity and insecurities you each may have about the situation. The best course of action is to confront jealousy head-on.
An effective way to do this is to establish boundaries and guidelines from the beginning of your long-distance arrangement that promote trust and security. These can vary from relationship to relationship but can include not spending time alone with a member of the opposite sex or putting yourself in compromising situations that could cause your partner to suspect you are cheating even if you are not.
5. Plan quality time and shared experiences.
While physical distance may limit in-person interactions, finding creative ways to spend quality time together and create shared experiences is helpful. Shared experiences can include weekend getaways in each of your locations or a new destination you both agree on or planning a more extended vacation, even a summer.
While in each other’s company, create new memories by participating in activities you both enjoy. Cook together, try new restaurants or introduce your partner to your favorites, and get to know each other’s locales by sightseeing together. Not only will you enjoy the time you spend with one another, but you will also create memories to cherish while you are apart.
6. Set up virtual dates when you cannot be together.
Plan virtual dates where you can engage in activities as a couple. Some ideas are to watch a movie simultaneously, cook a meal over video chat, or play online games. Just like in-person activities, virtual ones can be meaningful and memorable.
7. Demonstrate your commitment to the relationship by being reliable.
Speaking of planned activities, virtual and in-person, remember to demonstrate that you are committed to the relationship by being a reliable partner. Being a reliable partner includes following through on promises you make, acting dependably, and honoring your commitments. So if you say it, do it.
8. Surprise your partners with thoughtful gestures.
Surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures that show you love and care for them. This could include sending surprise gifts, writing handwritten letters and notes, or planning spontaneous visits whenever possible. Unexpected gestures help keep the romance alive and can go a long way toward making your partner feel cherished and valued.
9. Continue engaging in self-care and personal growth.
Physical distance also provides an opportunity to concentrate on your personal growth and self-improvement. Pursuing individual goals, acquiring new skills, or engaging in other personal development activities offers dual benefits; it enhances your individuality while infusing the relationship with fresh experiences and perspectives. More to talk about when you are together and when you are not!
Also, focusing on your emotional, physical, and mental health enables you to contribute your best self to the relationship. Consider activities like working out, hobbies, meditation, or social interactions for your self-care regimen, and encourage your partner to do the same.
10. Have shared goals and plans for the future.
Having shared goals and a vision for the future — an endgame — helps couples in long-distance relationships maintain a sense of purpose and direction, personally and as a couple. Moreover, planning for a shared future creates a sense of anticipation and provides something to look forward to.
Don’t hesitate to engage in conversations about the future, including potential timelines for closing the distance, relocating, or making travel plans. Discuss and align your goals with your partner's. Then, find common ground and explore ways to support each other in achieving those goals.
Final thoughts …
Maintaining a happy and healthy long-distance relationship requires effort, commitment, and focus. Although physical distance presents its unique challenges, embracing the above strategies can allow you to traverse the miles with grace and ease, strengthen your existing connection, and create a fulfilling and satisfying long-distance relationship for you and your partner.
Remember, love knows no boundaries when there is dedication, open communication, and a shared vision for the future. When handled with intention, care, and respect, (physical) absence, as the saying goes, can make the heart grow fonder.