Picture this: You’ve recently met someone. It’s been one, two, three, maybe four dates, and, BOOM, you feel a connection. Great, right? You bet it is.

Then, BOOM again. You have to travel, work on a new project, or have a lot of upcoming commitments with the kids. Any of which can put distance between you and the person you’ve just begun dating.

Is it over?

Well, that depends on how you play it. That’s because this in-between time, that time when you don’t know where a relationship is going yet, is critical. Momentum is what you need now, but life is doing what it does best — getting in the way.

So, what’s a single guy or girl to do? Be proactive about your dating life, of course. Otherwise, out of sight means out of mind. 

This means staying in regular contact. It means connecting with your new love interest in a meaningful yet not overbearing way. Balance is key, so here are a few tips for going about it.

Send texts.

How you text at the beginning of a relationship can make or break you. Too little, and you risk losing the person. Too many, and you can scare them away.

If you’ve met in person, you should be off the app or dating platform where you first met and texting each other directly. Texting etiquette still applies, though. That includes personalizing your messages so you don’t look like you’re spamming five people you’re dating, paying attention to the rhythm of your exchanges so that they’re balanced (you’re not blowing up the other person’s phone with five texts when you’ve received a response of only one), and paying attention to the time of day you begin conversations over text (not too early and not too late).

A good morning or goodnight text or a text asking how someone’s day is going is usually a safe way to begin a conversation. If the person answers within a reasonable period of time (see below), is polite, and is engaging, you can pretty much gauge their interest from there and whether you want to continue the conversation or even speak to future plans. Which is definitely smart if you won’t be able to see them for a while.

When texting, you should also not expect an immediate answer; someone could be otherwise engaged — in the shower, at work, with their kids, driving, away from their phone, or, yes, out on a date with someone else. Remember, you don’t know where this relationship is going yet, nor do you know this person well.   

Text a photo.

A picture can communicate a lot, most important of which is that you’re thinking of the person you’re sending it to and want to share a part of your day with them. Something you’re looking at — a sunrise, sunset, landscape, funny scene, your pet, sometimes you are all appropriate options.

However, with this last option, you want to be careful and not send too many photos of yourself, which can get obnoxious, even creepy. You also don’t want to send too many photos. As with any type of text, moderation should be the standard.

Pick up the phone and call.

What better way to keep in touch and express your interest than by picking up the phone and calling the person you’re interested in. Phone calls take the most effort, and dating prospects who aren’t serious about you generally won’t do it.

Related to the phone call is a video call. But with video calls, it may be helpful to schedule those in advance or ask first if they would be interested in communicating this way. That way, if they’re in their pajamas or somewhere they can’t speak, they won’t feel uncomfortable or put on the spot.

There is one caveat when it comes to phone calls  — they can be a way to perpetuate a pseudo-relationship. A pseudo-relationships is one that mimics a real relationship through intimate conversation but where in-person contact either never happens or becomes limited over time. So, if enough time passes and there are no plans on the calendar, you may want to consider moving on and not wasting time with this person.

Don’t ask (yet) where this relationship is going.

Want to kill a new relationship’s momentum? Ask where your relationship is going too early. The early stages of dating are for getting to know each other. Therefore, you don’t want to pressure the person you’ve just recently begun seeing or act needy. It’s a turnoff, to say the least.

If you’re a savvy dater and know how to spot the red flags and have a definitive yet rational list of deal breakers to stick to, you will more easily be able to distill from someone’s interactions with you whether they’re interested. Or, just as important, whether you’re interested in them. Instead, save your questions about where this relationship is going for when you’re actually in a relationship and need to make decisions about your future.

A last word …

New relationships take on a life of their own. They have a natural rhythm to them, especially when they’re going well. Much of that rhythm is dictated by how you handle outside pressures, pressures that may cause you to move slower.

But guess what? Slower isn’t necessarily worse. In fact, depending on how you play it, it can work in your favor, allowing you to get to know the person you’re seeing better before making critical decisions about taking your relationship to the next level too soon.

Solid, healthy relationships are built over time. That’s because you want the person you choose — and who chooses you — to be with for a long time.