As every woman reaches “a certain age,” she comes face to face (pun intended) with the inevitable loss of her youthful appearance. It might start with a stray gray hair that she plucks away on sight. Then, it might be a slowing metabolism or the onset of creases in her forehead or around her eyes.  

Society tends to associate wrinkles with age. With the pre-existing societal construct that younger women are attractive and older women are not, women can feel pressured to preserve their youth by any available means, including cosmetic procedures such as Botox. 

This pressure to appear beautiful is magnified by the dating scene for women in their 50s and beyond, as discussed recently by model Paulina Prozkova, who says many women feel pressured to turn to Botox and fillers to appear younger and attract more potential partners. This perceived need that women have to get such procedures stems from ageism, as men tend to select younger women as they, too, grow older. But it does present the age-old question: Is Botox a must for midlife dating if you are a woman? 

Of course not. How you present yourself at any age, including midlife and beyond, is a personal choice. But if you are considering Botox, you should fully grasp why you are before making your decision. To help, below are several metrics you can use to decide whether Botox would be right for you. 

On aesthetic grounds 

From an aesthetic standpoint, Botox poses risks. When done correctly, Botox can smooth out wrinkles and, arguably, shave 10 years off your age. However, Botox can also easily be botched, leading to all kinds of issues, including uneven eyebrows or too much brow lowering.  

Botox can likewise affect your ability to express emotion using your face, which might not be an outcome you will be happy with. But, of course, with too much botox, no one would necessarily be the wiser to how you actually feel.  

Finally, everyone’s body responds differently to injectables, from how long they will last to how effective they will be. In other words, there is no guarantee you will look younger or even markedly different. For some, the obviousness of its use can be aging in itself. 

On psychological grounds 

Suppose your Botox procedure is “successful.” Can you prove that you are now more attractive to men because Botox objectively makes you look younger? Or is it that you feel more youthful due to having Botox and now exude more confidence, thereby becoming more attractive to potential suitors?  

It is important to note that Botox is but one of many ways to achieve this outcome. A positive mindset combined with other aesthetic tweaks such as an updated wardrobe, new hairstyle, and well-applied makeup can each be a cause for feeling more confident. So, too, can coaching and education about how to be a better dater.  

That said, given how confidence is critical to attraction, that if you feel good about yourself, you will naturally become more attractive, Botox can be part of the larger equation. In other words, it could be a viable option if Botox helps you get to a place where you feel more comfortable about your appearance.  

But, of course, if you are not feeling good about yourself because of past trauma or you are still being weighed down by your last relationship and how it ended, or you are getting it to please someone other than yourself, Botox won’t be the magic potion you envision it to be. It might end up making you feel worse. 

On health grounds 

While the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) considers Botox safe, the procedure poses several health-related risks. Possible side effects of Botox include drooping of the eyelid or brow if injected near the eye, weakness or paralysis of nearby muscles, hives, rashes, or itching pain, bleeding, bruising, swelling, numbness, or redness, headache, dry mouth, flu-like symptoms, nausea, trouble swallowing, speaking, or breathing, gallbladder problems, blurry vision, or vision problems.  

However, it is worth noting that, due to Botox wearing off over time, most of these side effects are temporary. Furthermore, the procedure may fail due to the antibodies fighting the toxin in Botox, which occurs for less than 1% of people who get repeated courses. Therefore, before you get Botox, you must ask yourself if you are OK with assuming these risks. 

On financial grounds 

In 2020, the average Botox procedure cost $466. However, the cost may vary, depending on how many units of Botox you get (the more Botox you get, the more expensive the procedure becomes), the professional performing the injections (i.e., plastic surgeon, nurse, physician assistant), and where you get it done (prices vary based on locale). In addition, while insurance will not cover Botox procedures for aesthetic reasons, many policies will cover Botox for medical reasons, such as excessive sweating and migraines. 

Botox usually lasts for three or four months, so the expense of getting the procedure can add up over time. Therefore, you need to ask yourself if this is a sum of money you are comfortable spending or if there are other things you would prefer to spend your disposable income on instead.  

Final thoughts … 

With these considerations in mind, assess what place you see Botox having in your life. From there, you can decide whether it is an option you would like to explore or continue with for the long term while keeping in mind that true confidence doesn’t come in a vial. Rather, it comes from deep inside of you.