Planning your first getaway can be one of the most exciting times in a new relationship. It can also be one of the most unnerving since people’s travel habits can be quite specific. Though you want to be comfortable away from home and make the most of your trip, you also don’t want to come off as high maintenance or weird, making the entire experience feel even weirder.  

You also don’t want to appear judgy about your partner’s travel habits and preferences, even if you assess each other on the trip, which would be natural. After all, you can learn a lot about your partner by spending time with them away from their normal stomping ground.  

Yes, it’s a lot of pressure, but you can implement a few strategies to relieve it. They are as follows. 

Plan thoroughly. 

The less you leave to chance, the better off you both will be. That means making as many plans as possible to create stability on your trip. To that end, research destinations, accommodations, and transportation thoroughly. Even if you are surprising your partner with a trip, consider surprising them before booking it so they are comfortable with your suggestions.   

People have different comfort levels, from where they will rest their heads at night to the excursions they want to sign up for. With this in mind, you don’t want to take anything for granted with a partner you’ve never traveled with and don’t know well.  

Though it can cut into the element of surprise, it’s still better to check with your partner first. When you know someone better, it’s easier to surprise them. Or choose not to since you know they don’t like surprises.  

Discuss the sleeping arrangements in advance.  

Take nothing for granted, including the person you’re dating wanting to share a room with you on a trip. This holds even if you’ve been sleeping together or having sleepovers at each other’s homes. Instead, ask if they would be comfortable sharing a room on a trip, and don’t take offense if their answer differs from what you were expecting.  

Though you may have been intimate and woken up together in the morning, doing it for more than a day at a time may cause someone to consider whether they are ready for that level of togetherness.  

Even if your partner says that they aren’t ready yet, keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be a commentary on the status of your relationship or how they feel about you. Timelines can vary. 

Talk about expectations about who’s paying for what.  

Hard conversations are usually necessary, and that includes conversations about money. When planning a trip, it’s important to consider not just your partner’s budget if you are expecting them to contribute but also whether they are comfortable with someone else (you) paying their way on all or certain purchases.  

Again, everyone has values driving their behavior, and it’s best to get these out in the open since you may not have had the opportunity to learn what values they hold dear or see how they apply them in real-world scenarios.  

Your partner, despite how wealthy or not wealthy they are, may also differ on what they think is worth paying a premium for on a trip; some people will sink money into accommodations, for example, while others will prioritize where they eat. It’s not always about what someone can afford but what they consider luxuries.  

Keep your stuff separate when you pack.  

For many, packing space is high-end real estate, so don’t expect someone you don’t know all that well to part with it easily for you. Even if you have been married for decades, you may still find your personal effects receiving an icy welcome from your spouse’s luggage. 

Then, of course, there is the matter of how you pack. From sloppy packers to those who use packing cubes, there is typically a method to the madness, and you don’t want to interfere with what makes someone else comfortable traveling.  

Refrain from critiquing someone’s travel habits or tolerance level.  

You will undoubtedly form opinions based on your partner’s travel habits or tolerance level. That said, even if you have what you believe are some good ideas for them that could improve the way they pack or up their tolerance level for certain activities, keep your suggestions to yourself. No one wants to feel they are doing things “wrong” or pressured to do something they aren’t comfortable with. You are not their parent, and you could come off as controlling or as a know-it-all. Neither is appealing.  

Brace yourself for things to go wrong.  

No trip is without its hiccups; some are bigger than others, the worst of which is realizing that you and your partner aren’t compatible. If that’s the case, so be it.  

Make the most of your trip anyway, which shouldn’t be longer than a few days if it’s the first one. Enjoy the experience as much as possible, remaining respectful and kind, even if your partner is less than that.  

Then, when you are back home, reevaluate your relationship and proceed accordingly. Or, if you had a great time on your trip, begin planning the next one, recognizing that getting to know each other more fully and liking what you see is the best part of the journey.