Romantic relationships can be defined in various ways. Though in no way new, one relationship category garnering attention these days is the concept of the open relationship, where couples agree they can have sexual relations outside their relationship. 

And not just garnering attention but genuine consideration: A 2021 survey conducted by YouGov with over 23,000 Americans revealed that approximately 25% of respondents expressed interest in exploring an open relationship.  

The men, however, were a little more enthusiastic about it, with 32% of them expressing interest compared to 19% of the women. Of the group surveyed, 30% of the husbands indicated they would be interested, while only 21% of the wives felt the same.  

As with any relationship, including open relationships, no two are ever the same. However, they do have specific characteristics that define them, at least one of which might be the deciding factor for whether you are up for having one. Read on to learn more.  

What is the difference between an open relationship and a polyamorous relationship? 

As discussed above, an open relationship describes a relationship in which one or both members have their partner’s consent to get involved sexually with another individual besides their primary partner. In what capacity, who that new person is (gender, marital status, etc.), and whether the “active” partner must disclose involvement with a third party (or any number party) to their partner can vary according to the “rules” of that specific relationship set by the couple.  

Open relationships and polyamorous relationships bear some similarities in that there is more than one partner involved in them. But the key difference between the two types of relationships is that in an open relationship, one couple remains central and primary emotionally, while in a polyamorous relationship, there can be romantic, emotional involvement with more than one person at a time. Moreover, no particular involvement has to take precedence over the other unless the couple agrees to do so.   

What are the benefits of an open relationship? 

Those involved in an open relationship or want to be involved in one may find it appealing for the following reasons: 

Excitement. An open relationship is one way to break up the routine and sometimes monotony that relationships can suffer over time. 

Experimentation. Many people like being in an open relationship because of the freedom it offers for sexual experimentation and exploration. This can lead to … 

Self-discovery. Having the chance to experiment and explore with a partner other than their own sexually can be an exercise in self-discovery, where people become more familiar with their likes and dislikes.  

Socializing. Although a little different from joining a book club, engaging with another sexual partner can be one way to expand a person’s social circle. 

Trust. An open relationship can be a way to test partners’ trust in one another. For those who already have challenges trusting in relationships, engaging in an open relationship probably won’t be a comfortable option.  

What are the drawbacks of an open relationship?  

Nothing is without its drawbacks, including an open relationship. Some possible sticking points are: 

Jealousy. Opening a relationship to the possibility of a partner meeting, sleeping with, and, yes, falling in love is the stuff that jealousy is made from.  

Time. Romantic relationships take time to develop and then to maintain. Do you know what takes more time than maintaining a romantic relationship? Maintaining more than one. There are only so many hours in the day, so the existing relationship could suffer with the introduction of a new one.  

Work. Every relationship requires effort from both partners to succeed. But, there’s some evidence to indicate, specifically low success rates, that an open relationship won’t: 92% of open marriages fail. This is probably due to the inherent challenges tied up with open relationships, including the extra level of work to keep them going.  

Cost. Relationships also cost money, even if, for the additional one, most of the time will be spent between the sheets. Gas isn’t cheap these days. Neither is food. Not to mention having to actually go in search of a sexual partner, such as through a dating app. Everything costs money.  

STIs. Nonmonogamy comes with its risks, including the transmission of STIs. Safe sex isn’t foolproof, which can make even the most careful individuals and their partners vulnerable.  

Pregnancy. If a partner is able to bear children, a sexual relationship always comes with the risk of pregnancy. A baby with a new partner is likely to complicate matters for the primary relationship.    

Motives. It’s critical to understand the motives underlying decision-making when opting for an open relationship. Doing anything to appease a partner or make them jealous will usually result in more problems than existed before the introduction of an open relationship.  

Is an open relationship right for me? 

There’s always a risk when engaging in an open relationship. That said, every relationship comes with risk: the risk of leaving with a broken heart or having your feelings hurt. This goes for friendships, too.  

Based on the above criteria, only you will know if an open relationship could work for you. If you still aren’t sure and are OK with the risks involved, you owe it to yourself to try. As uncertain as it sounds, sometimes the biggest risk is the one you don’t take.