So often, when people talk about dating single men, it’s negative. As in, the guy said something, did something, or made you feel something that either feels off or is off the charts, and though there’s no denying it, somehow you keep finding ways to do just that — deny the red flags right in front of you. What people tend to talk about less, maybe because it’s less exciting but no less important, are the green flags, i.e., the signs that the guy’s a keeper. Here are five to keep in mind.    

He’s consistent and reliable.  

Think about what has or what would irritate you in a dating situation. A lack of follow-through is one of the first issues that should come to mind. For example, if a guy asks you for a date, he should honor it. If a guy says he’s going to call, he should call. If a guy says he will come over at a particular time, he should be there when he says.  

Of course, unforeseen events can happen to interfere with said plans. The babysitter didn’t show up. There was traffic. He’s sick. He has to work.  

Now, don’t roll your eyes. If you’ve been dating for a while, you may have heard these excuses and perhaps not believed them. A pattern from the same person? Red flag. However, if the excuses are few and far between, and he’s always been consistent and reliable, and you have every inkling to think that the guy is telling the truth, then take him at his word.  

A key indicator that an excuse is bona fide is what comes along with the excuse. If the guy is canceling, is he rescheduling? If he’s running late, is he sincerely apologetic? Especially for men you don’t know all too well or at all, how he cancels or alters the plan is telling. Listen to him and that voice inside you.  

If the guy you’ve been seeing sticks to his word, give credit where credit is due. No one’s infallible, but consistency and reliability are big green flags you shouldn’t take for granted.  

He’s respectful in his communication.  

How does a guy talk to you? Is he respectful in his communication? Not everyone’s a great conversationalist, but that has nothing to do with respect.  

Does the guy ask you questions about yourself, and is he interested in your answers? Green flag. Does he refrain from using expletives during conversation, including when talking about someone he may not like? Green flag. Does he consider your likes, opinions, and feelings? Green, green, and green. 

How will you know if a guy isn’t respectful in his communication with you? You will feel uncomfortable. If you do, red flag. A guy who’s disrespectful in his communication with you early on will only become more disrespectful as time progresses. As for the love bomber that we all know so well, the moment he lets his guard down (and he will), take heed. Red flag.   

Everyone’s entitled to a bad moment, but how bad that moment is, how the guy handles it afterward, and, most importantly, whether it happens again will give you all the information you need. Evaluate it; don’t ignore it.  

He displays kindness and empathy. 

In addition to how a guy treats you, how does he treat other people close to him, such as his parents, siblings, children, and friends? Is he empathetic to the situations they may find themselves in? Does he display interest or give his time and attention to them? Yes to all? You have some green flags in front of you. 

You should ask the same questions about the people the guy doesn’t know so well or at all. How does he talk about others in society? His colleagues? Again, is he empathetic or sympathetic to the plight of others? If he is, it’s a good sign. Green flag.   

He’s emotionally available.  

A significant part of dating is getting to know a person deeply. For that to happen, both people need to be emotionally available. That means being capable of opening up about feelings, being vulnerable, and working through challenging situations as a couple. Green flag.  

It’s pretty easy to tell if your partner isn’t emotionally available if you know what to look for. You’ll feel like you don’t really know them or what they’re thinking, mainly because they shut down whenever you want to discuss a topic or situation that could be uncomfortable for them.  

He shares your goals and values.  

Being with someone who shares your goals and values is necessary to have a successful relationship. That said, you don’t need to align on every goal or value. Only those that would otherwise be a deal breaker for you, such as wanting to have children or living in a particular location.  

If you are aligned on the goals and values that you place highest on your list of priorities, green flag. If you’re not, it’s time to reconsider whether the person you’re dating is indeed the right person for you.  

Final thoughts … 

When you’re aware of the green and red flags in your relationship, it usually means you’re doing a good job of checking in with yourself about how you feel with and about this person and whether you’re getting what you need from them. It’s important to note that red flags aren’t like green ones; red ones mean you should stop where you are. Green flags indicate you are safe to move forward now, with the understanding that there could still be a red flag somewhere down the road. 

Dismal? Depressing? Not really. That’s because the more realistic you are, the more you understand what you’re looking at, and the more likely you will see the person and relationship you’re in for what they are — the one you’ve been looking for or the one leading you there.